Have you ever felt like you wanted to change but you just don’t know where to begin, have you felt so overwhelmed that you end up doing nothing, and then suffer as regret plays in a loop in your mind?
Have you wished you could just take the chance to follow your dreams but fear keeps holding you back? Maybe you feel too old to start now, you feel like that ship has sailed, you feel like ‘who am I to chase my dreams when I have bills to pay and other people to take care of..’
Have you ever feared that you’re never going to get to where you want to be, but the thought of staying where you are keeps you awake at night?
Have you wanted to get out of the same old routine, or escape the rat race, to live a more fulfilling, adventurous life ... but you feel like you just don’t have time for your dreams?
Do you find yourself always putting everyone else’s needs before your own, do you feel guilty spending time or money on yourself?
I’ve felt that pull, that feeling that tugs at your soul, telling you there’s something more to life than we see on the surface. I’ve felt it for as long as I can remember. But at times I’ve really struggled to see what the alternative is.
I’ve done the soul sucking jobs just to pay my way. I’ve been there in the toilets at work, door shut tight, head in hands wondering where I went wrong and why I can’t get my life on track.
I’ve struggled with the negative thoughts and feelings that hold me back, I’ve struggled with my demons that tell me I’m not good enough, clever enough, interesting enough, and I’ve sabotaged myself whenever I tried to move forward.
But I still had an irrepressible urge to steer my own ship, to work to my own rules and manage my own time. I wanted to write, create, to express my true self. I wanted to live my life on my terms.
Then I was stopped in my tracks...my health was dealt a body blow and I was to spend three years fighting my way to wellness and discovering the most profound truths about my life and my personal journey.
What my disease, my diagnosis, demonstrated to me was that there’s another way. There’s the way that society makes us believe is the way, and then there’s your own individual path. The path and the way that works for you. It’s unique to you. It’s what’s right for you. It’s what is natural to you.
I was diagnosed with coeliac disease. So no more gluten. No bread, pasta, or cereal for breakfast.
But here’s the thing….how could it be that something so universally revered and promoted as good for us be so damaging to me? Bread is shared as a symbol of friendship. It’s promoted through general society as part of a staple diet. It’s seen as the basis of the most fundamental diet across the world. So how come it made me so ill and what did this mean?
Here’s what hit me like a tonne of bricks...what’s good for one person, what’s good for society in general...is not always the best thing for you.
What matters, and here’s the biggy….what matters most to you and your life... is what works for YOU. You have a duty to yourself to follow that road and live that one life that’s unique to you.
I spent three years getting to know myself like I’ve never done before. I was surprised how little I really knew about myself. About what made my body happy, what made me happy. I learnt how I was actually pushing myself into doing things that I didn’t really like to do because I thought that’s what I should be doing.
Being forced to stop and reassess myself and my life and having the time and space to focus on myself and my body’s needs allowed me to really develop a deep understanding of my life.